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I am a 57 year old widow living with triple negative bilateral breast cancer stage 4 none curable. 
I went to the doctors in September of 2024with a lump in my neck,an enlarged lymph node. After blood tests ct scan ultra sound biopsy and chest X-ray I heard nothing for weeks. I started chasing results after 6 weeks to find know one knew where my results had gone. I eventually was called to an orthopaedic appointment and although I really shouldn't have been there the consultant after 4 hours of searching came into the room to notify me that I had a cancer of unknown primary, it was in the medial sternum and left lymph node in my left arm pit. He asked me to go for bloods and oncology would contact me within 2 weeks. After 3 weeks I rang oncology to find I hadn't been given an appointment, they arranged one for 2 days later. I took my mum and daughter with me, I met with the oncologist who was exceptionally rude, she told me what I had already been told then went on to say she wouldn't treat me as I had 3 months to live. I told her this wasn't an option and I would be treated. My mum and daughter were devastated. Once home I complained to pals and made a formal complaint about the way I had been treated. I got a reply and treatment was given the go ahead. I had 15 sessions of radiotherapy to chest and neck in January 2025 . I then had to wait until march for a scan and April for results to be told the chest was now clear. What they didn't mention was the large lump in my left breast and the 3 smaller lumps in the right breast and abdomen. I rang and rang and got old case going to mdt week after week. Eventually I rang the breast clinic and demanded àn appointment in the tri clinic, I had this on may 8 2024. The doctor and saw was absolutely disgusted that I hadn't been referred before. He examined me, I had a mammogram I had ultra sound and 10 biopsies and then he confirmed it was breast cancer and he needed the biopsy results to determine which type. In June of 2024 I met with my new oncologist to be told I had bilateral triple negative breast cancer with secondaries in the upper abdomen. The cancers which had been treated by radiation we're secondary to this breast cancer. The cancers which is none curable as it's spread, I'm on continuous palliative treatment to slow progression.

To date I have had 9 cycles of chemo each cycle is 3 weeks one session per week . To start for the first 5 cycles I had carboplantine and paclitaxel on week 1, week 2&3 just paclitaxel this was very trueing, I lost my hair in the first 3 weeks, I was tired couldn't do a lot and the in cycle 5 was admitted to hospital with chemo induced diarrhea blood clot in the lung and neutropenic ( no white cells to fight infection). 

On leaving the hospital I had 3 weeks off chemo to recover and started my new regime of chemo which is paclitaxel week 1,2,3 and week 4 off. I had a scan in December 2025 which showed no progression or decrease so I continue at present and have a scan in march 2026.

The toll on my family is great it's just a waiting game. We try to keep positive to continue everyday as normal and not focusing on the negative.

Every day is a challenge, if you can get out of bed get showered dressed and eat and drink that's a relatively simple but good day. Other days I may be able to take the dog for a walk but will sleep all afternoon. Other days I can do a little work but the next day will sleep most of the day. Fridays in general are a day of doing nothing as it's the day when everything hits me, but by Saturday and Sunday I'm licking up again ready for bloods on Monday and treatment Tuesday to start again. 
eating and drinking is hard as the chemo changes the taste, everything has a metal taste even water, the water has to be ice cold so it doesn't taste and it's a case of little meals and what you fancy even if it's just a mug of soup. 

Also I have to contend with the lack of magnesium in my body I have weekly supplements ,which bring there own side effects, as I don't retain magnesium, I try to eat foods rich in magnesium but it doesn't always work so the tiredness, myscle weakness and neuropathy can be hard to deal with. I find that a month,y session of reiki and reflexology helps to balance me and I am very lu cky to have "be well with Rachel " to deliver these for me.

I have a small network formsupport that is my choice, I attend most appointments on my own I get my self to and from chemo on my own so I don't have to put undue stress on my family, yes they are there if I need them too but whilst I can I do it on my own. I keep fighting and the aim of this blog is to show how each day can be and is different when in chemo .

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